Go to Thou Art Made if Thou Desirest to Be So

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Twelfth Night: Human action two, Scene 5

  Enter SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW,
  and FABIAN.

SIR TOBY BELCH
  oneCome thy ways, Signior Fabian.

1. Come thy ways: come on, allow'south go.

FABIAN
  2Nay, I'll come: if I lose a scruple of this sport,

2. Nay: i.e., Don't worry. a scruple: the least picayune flake.

  iiiallow me be boiled to death with melancholy.

3. boiled: [With a pun on "bile." An backlog of blackness bile, one of the 4 essential humours (fluids) of the body, was thought to exist the cause of melancholy.]

SIR TOBY Belch
  4Wouldst thou not exist glad to accept the niggardly
  5rascally sheep-biter come by some notable

five. sheep-biter: (Literally, a canis familiaris that attacks sheep; metaphorically, a mean person who nips at the heels of the innocent.)

  6shame?

FABIAN
  viiI would exult, human being: you know, he brought me out
  8o' favour with my lady about a acquit-baiting here.

8. bear-baiting: (A vicious amusement in which a chained bear is attacked past dogs.)

SIR TOBY BELCH
  9To acrimony him we'll have the carry once more; and we

nine. take . . . again: bring back.

 tenvolition fool him black and blue: shall we not,

10. fool: mock, make a fool of. blackness and bluish: i.e., similar a person who has suffered a beating.

 elevenSir Andrew?

SIR ANDREW
 12An nosotros do non, it is pity of our lives.

12. it is pity of our lives: i.east., it'll exist a crying shame.

  Enter MARIA.

SIR TOBY Discharge
 xiiiHither comes the little villain.

13. villain: (Said admiringly.)

 14How at present, my metallic of Bharat!

fourteen. metal of India: i.east., golden (Maria is as good as gold.)

MARIA
 15Get ye all three into the box-tree: Malvolio's

15. box-tree: (Possibly a hedge; the shrubs known as "box" are however used for hedges.)

 16coming down this walk: he has been yonder
 17i' the sun practising behavior to his ain shadow

17. behavior: exquiste manners, such equally bowing and paw-kissing .

 18this half hour: observe him, for the love of mockery;
 nineteenfor I know this letter will make a contemplative

19. contemplative: thoughtful.

 20idiot of him. Close, in the proper name of jesting!

twenty. Close: Keep subconscious.

 21 Lie thou at that place, [Throws down a letter.] for here

21. Prevarication thou there: Said to the letter that Maria is throwing to the ground.

 22comes the trout that must be caught with tickling.

22. tickling: Literally, stroking about the gills—something that was really washed to catch trout.

  [The men hide.]
  Exit [Maria].

  Enter MALVOLIO.

MALVOLIO
 23'Tis but fortune; all is fortune. Maria one time told

 24me she did affect me: and I have heard herself
 25come thus near, that, should she fancy, information technology should
 26be i of my complexion. As well, she uses me
 27with a more exalted respect than whatever one else
 28that follows her. What should I think on't?

28. follows her: serves her.

SIR TOBY BELCH
 29Here's an overweening rogue!

29. overweening: arrogant, presumptuous.

FABIAN
 30O, peace! Contemplation makes a rare

30. Contemplation: thought, conjecture, mean solar day-dreaming.

 31turkey-cock of him: how he jets under his

31. jets: struts.

 32advanced plumes!

32. advanced plumes: feathers fluffed out (to make the turkey wait more impressive).

SIR ANDREW
 33'Slight, I could and so vanquish the rogue!

33. 'Slight: By God's lite—a balmy oath.

SIR TOBY BELCH
 34Peace, I say.

34. Peace: Close upwards. (Said to Sir Andrew.)

MALVOLIO
 35To be Count Malvolio!

SIR TOBY Belch
 36Ah, rogue!

SIR ANDREW
 37Pistol him, pistol him.

37. Pistol him: Pistol-whip him.

SIR TOBY Discharge
 38Peace, peace!

MALVOLIO
 39There is example for't; the lady of the Strachy
 40married the yeoman of the wardrobe.

39. example: precedent. for't: for it (i.e., for a lady marrying a servant). 39-40. the lady of the Strachy / married the yeoman of the wardrobe: yeoman of the wardrobe: a retainer who supervised the care of clothing and linen. 41. Jezebel: arrogant and cruel wife of Ahab, King of Israel. (But does Sir Andrew know that Jezebel was a woman?)

SIR ANDREW
 41Fie on him, Jezebel!

FABIAN
 42O, peace! now he's deeply in: look how
 43imagination blows him.

43. blows him: puffs him upwardly.

MALVOLIO
 44Having been iii months married to her,
 45sitting in my country, —

45. sitting in my state: i.e., on the court chair of, and dressed in the robes of, a Count (since Olivia is a Countess).

SIR TOBY Belch
 46O, for a rock-bow, to hitting him in the eye!

46. rock-bow: crossbow used to shoot stones.

MALVOLIO
 47Calling my officers near me, in my branched

47. officers: household staff. branched: embroidered with branches of leaves and flowers. 48. day-bed: couch. (Malvolio may exist thinking that his dear will have left Olivia very satisfied.)

 48velvet gown; having come from a day-bed, where
 49I have left Olivia sleeping, —

SIR TOBY BELCH
 50Burn and brimstone!

FABIAN
 51O, peace, peace!

MALVOLIO
 52And then to have the sense of humor of state; and

52. the humour of state: the manner of the powerful.

 53after a demure travel of regard — telling

53. demure travel of regard: grave visual examination of all present. telling . . . place: (It is his "demure travel of regard" that tells everyone that Malvolio has the "place" of a Count.)

 54them I know my place as I would they should
 55practice theirs — to ask for my kinsman Toby, —

SIR TOBY Discharge
 56Bolts and shackles!

56. Bolts and shackles: leg irons (Sir Toby thinks Malvolio ought to be locked upward.)

FABIAN
 57O peace, peace, peace! at present, now.

MALVOLIO
 58Seven of my people, with an obedient start,

58. first: jump (every bit in "leap to it").

 59make out for him: I frown the while; and

59. make out for: become after.

 sixtyperchance current of air upwardly my lookout man, or play with my
 61— some rich jewel. Toby approaches; curtsies

61. play with my . . . jewel: (Malvolio was thinking of his steward's chain, simply remembers that he'll be a Count.) curtsies: bows, and other signs of respect.

 62at that place to me, —

SIR TOBY BELCH
 63Shall this beau alive?

FABIAN
 64Though our silence be fatigued from united states with cars,

 65all the same peace.

MALVOLIO
 66I extend my mitt to him thus, quenching my
 67familiar smile with an ascetic regard of control, —

67. austere regard of control: severe look of authority.

SIR TOBY BELCH
 68And does not Toby take you lot a blow o' the lips then?

68. take you a accident o': give you a punch on.

MALVOLIO
 69Maxim, 'Cousin Toby, my fortunes having bandage me
 lxxon your niece give me this prerogative of speech,' —

70. give me this prerogative of speech communication: i.east., you must admit my right to requite you a talking-to.

SIR TOBY Belch
 71What, what?

71. What, what?: i.east., What even more than outrageous thing is he going to say next?.

MALVOLIO
 72'You must amend your drunkenness.'

SIR TOBY BELCH
 73Out, scab!

73. Out: Begone, Become out of my sight. scab: scurvy rascal.

FABIAN
 74Nay, patience, or nosotros break the sinews of our
 75plot.

MALVOLIO
 76'Besides, you waste material the treasure of your time
 77with a foolish knight,' —

SIR ANDREW
 78That's me, I warrant y'all.

78. warrant: promise.

MALVOLIO
 79'One Sir Andrew,' —

SIR ANDREW
 80I knew 'twas I; for many do phone call me fool.

MALVOLIO
 81What employment take nosotros hither?

81. employment: business concern.

  Taking upwards the alphabetic character.

FABIAN
 82Now is the woodcock nearly the gin.

82. woodcock: a really stupid bird. gin: trap.

SIR TOBY BELCH
 83O, peace! and the spirit of humor intimate
 84reading aloud to him!

MALVOLIO
 85By my life, this is my lady's hand these be
 86her very C'south, her U's and her T'southward and thus

86. thus: Malvolio demonstrates—he may hold out his manus to be kissed, rather than shaken. 87. great: upper-case.

 87makes she her great P's. It is, in antipathy
 88of question, her mitt.

88. in contempt of question: without a doubt. manus: handwriting.

SIR ANDREW
 89Her C'southward, her U's and her T'southward: why that?

89. Her C'southward, her U's and her T's: ("Cut" was slang for female person privates.)

MALVOLIO [Reads]
 90'To the unknown beloved, this, and my

xc. unknown honey: undercover love.

 91good wishes:' — her very phrases! Past
 92your leave, wax. Soft! and the impressure

91-92. By your leave: With your permission (He's talking to the letter of the alphabet every bit he opens it.) 92. Soft: wait a minute. impressure: impression in the wax seal. 93. Lucrece: Lucretia, emblem of chastity.

 93her Lucrece, with which she uses to seal:
 94'tis my lady. To whom should this be?

FABIAN
 95This wins him, liver and all.

95. wins him: gets him. liver: The organ of love.

MALVOLIO [Reads]
 96      'Jove knows I love:
 97         But who?
 98      Lips, do not move;
 99      No man must know.'
100'No human must know.' What follows? The
101numbers contradistinct! 'No homo must know:'

101. numbers altered: meter inverse. Mayhap Malvolio is thinking that, if said but correct, No man must know, sounds like Mal-vol-i-o.

102if this should be thee, Malvolio?

SIR TOBY Belch
103Marry, hang thee, brock!

103. brock: badger, a stinking beast.

MALVOLIO [Reads]
104   'I may command where I adore;

104. where: i.e., the person whom.

105     But silence, like a Lucrece knife,

105. Lucrece knife: (After beingness raped by Tarquin, Lucretia stabbed herself to death.)

106   With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore:
107     One thousand, O, A, I, doth sway my life.'

FABIAN
108A fustian riddle!

108. fustian: arty, but empty—so perfect for Malvolio.

SIR TOBY BELCH
109Excellent wench, say I.

109. Excellent wench: i.e., Maria, who wrote the letter.

MALVOLIO
110'M, O, A, I, doth sway my life.' Nay, but first,
111let me see, permit me see, let me see.

FABIAN
112What dish o' poisonous substance has she dressed him!

112. What: What a. she dressed him: she has prepared for him.

SIR TOBY BELCH
113And with what fly the staniel cheques at it!

113. wing: flying, speed. staniel: an inferior hawk.cheques at information technology: goes for it. (When a hawk cheques, it turns and goes subsequently the wrong target.)

MALVOLIO
114'I may control where I admire.' Why, she
115may command me: I serve her; she is my lady.
116Why, this is axiomatic to whatsoever formal chapters;

116. formal capacity: normal understanding.

117in that location is no obstruction in this: and the finish,

117. obstacle: difficulty, obstacle.

118— what should that alphabetical position

118. alphabetical position: arrangement of the letters.

119portend? If I could make that resemble
120something in me, — Softly! M, O, A, I, —

120. Softly!: Slowly! Advisedly!.

SIR TOBY Discharge
121O, ay, brand upward that: he is now at a cold smell.

121. O, ay: (Toby is mocking Malvolio's reading.) make upward that: make something out of that. common cold scent: faint, deceptive trail.

FABIAN
122Sowter volition weep upon't for all this, though

122. Sowter: (Typical name of a stupid hunting canis familiaris.)

123it be as rank equally a pull a fast one on.

123. volition . . . play a trick on: despite the fact that the trail is cold, he will requite natural language equally though he had found the truthful scent, fifty-fifty though the deception stinks like a fox.

MALVOLIO
124M, — Malvolio; Thou, — why, that begins my
125proper name.

FABIAN
126Did not I say he would work it out? the cur is
127splendid at faults.

127. faults: places where the trail of scent is broken. (Fabian means that Malvolio will read the letter to suit himself, no thing what.)

MALVOLIO
128K, — only and so in that location is no consonancy in the

128. consonancy: agreement, consistency.

129sequel; that suffers under probation A should

129. sequel; that suffers nether probation: post-obit letters which are subject to examination. (What's funny about this speech is that Malvolio uses many high-flown, legalistic words to say the obvious.)

130follow only O does.

FABIAN
131And O shall end, I promise.

131. O shall stop: i.due east., O, the hangman's noose, will put an end to him, and/or this joke will end in a cry of pain "O," when Malvolio discovers the truth.

SIR TOBY BELCH
132Ay, or I'll cudgel him, and make him cry O!

MALVOLIO
133And and then I comes backside.

FABIAN
134Ay, an you had any middle behind you, you might

134. an: if. any middle behind you: i.e., an eye in the back of your caput. 135. detraction: insults, mockery. fortunes: good luck, rewards. before you: in front end of you.

135come across more detraction at your heels than fortunes
136before you.

MALVOLIO
137Yard, O, A, I; this simulation is not as the one-time:

137. simulation: disguised meaning.

138and yet, to crush this a little, it would bow to me,

138. crush: forcefulness. bow: yield.

139for every one of these letters are in my proper name.
140 Soft! here follows prose.

140. Soft: concord on, wait a infinitesimal, etc.

  [Reads.]

141  'If this fall into thy manus, revolve. In my stars

141. circumduct: call back things over. stars: fortune.

142  I am to a higher place thee; but be non afraid of greatness:
143  some are born great, some reach greatness,
144  and some have greatness thrust upon 'em. Thy
145  Fates open their easily; let thy claret and spirit

145. open up their hands: (They're in a giving mood.) thy blood and spirit: i.e., every fiber of your being.

146  embrace them; and, to inure thyself to what
147  thou fine art like to be, bandage thy humble slough and

147. cast thy apprehensive slough Literally, a "slough" is the discarded peel of a snake. 148. opposite: contrary.

148  appear fresh. Be opposite with a kinsman, surly
149  with servants; let thy tongue tang arguments of

149. tang: audio loud with. 149-150. arguments of state: political opinions. 150. play a joke on: addiction. singularity: uniqueness, eccentricity.

150  state; put thyself into the trick of singularity:
151  she thus advises thee that sighs for thee.
152  Remember who commended thy yellow stockings,
153  and wished to see thee e'er cross-gartered: I say,

153. e'er: e'er. cross-gartered: 154. Go to: i.eastward., wake upward. one thousand art fabricated: i.east., y'all are assured of being a gentleman. 155. yet: ever. 156. fellow: companion.

154  remember. Go to, thou art made, if g desirest
155  to be so; if non, let me run across thee a steward withal,
156  the beau of servants, andnot worthy to touch
157  Fortune'south fingers. Cheerio.
158     She that would alter services with thee,

158. modify services: (Malvolio now serves Olivia; if they married, she would serve him.)

159        THE FORTUNATE-UNHAPPY.'

160Daylight and champaign discovers not more than: this

160. champaign: open country. discovers: reveals.

161is open up. I will be proud, I will read politic authors,

162I volition baffle Sir Toby, I volition launder off gross

162. baffle: put down. launder off: get rid of. gross: lowly,ignorant.

163acquaintance, I volition be point-devise the very human.

163. bespeak-devise the very man: exactly the man, to the letter. 164. jade: play a trick on.

164I do not now fool myself, to let imagination jade
165me; for every reason excites to this, that my lady

165. every reason excites to: all the evidence points to.

166loves me. She did commend my yellowish stockings
167of late, she did praise my leg being cross-gartered;
168and in this she manifests herself to my love, and
169with a kind of injunction drives me to these habits
170of her liking. I thank my stars I am happy. I will

170. happy: fortunate.

171be foreign, stout, in yellow stockings, and

171. strange: aloof. stout: haughty.

172cross-gartered, even with the swiftness of putting
173on. Jove and my stars be praised! Hither is notwithstanding a
174postscript.

  [Reads.]

175  'Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou
176  entertainest my love, allow it announced in thy smiling;

176. entertainest: have.

177  thy smiles go thee well; therefore in my
178  presence still smile, dearest my sugariness, I prithee.'

179Jove, I thank thee: I will smile; I volition do
180everything that thou wilt have me.

  Leave.

FABIAN
181I will not give my part of this sport for a
182pension of thousands to be paid from the Sophy.

182. the Sophy: the Shah of Persia.

SIR TOBY BELCH
183I could ally this wench for this device.

183. this wench: i.east., Maria.

SIR ANDREW
184And then could I likewise.

SIR TOBY Belch
185And ask no other dowry with her but such another jest.

SIR ANDREW
186Nor I neither.

FABIAN
187Here comes my noble gull-catcher.

187. gull-catcher: tricker of suckers.

  Enter MARIA.

SIR TOBY Belch
188Wilt 1000 set thy pes o' my neck?

188. o': on. Toby is proverb, "Y'all're the boss!"

SIR ANDREW
189Or o' mine either?

SIR TOBY Discharge
190Shall I play my freedom at tray-trip, and go

190. play: gamble. tray-trip: a die game.

191thy bond-slave?

SIR ANDREW
192I' faith, or I either?

SIR TOBY BELCH
193Why, k hast put him in such a dream, that
194when the paradigm of it leaves him he must run mad.

194. when the image of it leaves him: i.east., when Malvolio learns the truth.= . . .

MARIA
195Nay, but say truthful; does it work upon him?

SIR TOBY Discharge
196Like aqua-vitae with a midwife.

196. aqua-vitae: brandy, whisky, etc. midwife: (Apparently it didn't have much to brand a midwife drunk.)

MARIA
197If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark
198his offset approach before my lady: he will come to
199her in yellowish stockings, and 'tis a colour she
200abhors, and cantankerous-gartered, a style she detests;
201and he volition grin upon her, which will at present be so
202unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted to a
203melancholy as she is, that it cannot only plough him
204into a notable contempt. If you volition see it, follow

204. notable contempt: common object of contemptuousness.

205me.

SIR TOBY Belch
206To the gates of Tartar, 1000 most excellent devil of wit!

206. Tartar: Tartarus, hell.

SIR ANDREW
207I'll brand one besides.

207. make one: be one of the group (of those who volition see Malvolio brand a fool of himself).

  Exeunt.

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